Parasocial Relationships: Why we Feel Close to Influencers and Celebrities

By Fatima Nadeem

If you are reading this article most probably you’re those types of individuals who

start binge watching a specific influencer’s content and then proceed to call them

“mother”, “queen”, or even “bestie” when ironically you don’t even know who

they are besides what they portray online. But why is that? Why do we form

attachments to people who don’t even know we exist or have even met? Let me

explain.

This is known as a parasocial relationship. It is a one sided connection you develop

with an influence or celebrity, or even a fictional character. You feel a sense of

closeness or even intimacy with someone you can only interact with through

media. The bond can further be strengthened by self-disclosure done by the media

personality or someone learning something positive done by that person. They

could perhaps share a few childhood stories, celebrity interactions, high school

life, daily routines, what they eat in a day videos, etc. The brain cannot often

distinguish the difference between real and parasocial relationships, and this is

especially common in teenagers. It gives the impression of something real

emotionally, when the reality itself is the complete opposite.

Social Media allows influencers to share their content around the clock, that can

either be posts, reels,stories, or long form content. . This creates intimacy by

showing how relatable they are, therefore when someone sees something that is

similar to how they live, they immediately like the person. It is like how we form

relationships in real life: we prefer being around like minded individuals.

To some extent they provide positive connection and support, but only when we

do not compromise our real life relationships. They reduce feelings of loneliness

especially when someone has anxiety or during times of isolation. These

individuals can only help us adopt better mindsets and be more motivated and

disciplined like them, such as adapting their healthy mindsets and habits. They

allow us to learn new perspectives, look at life through a different lens, and learn

about another cultural background that might be different from our own. An

article by every day health states, ‘Parasocial relationships are common and

perfectly normal. We’re human, and we're social creatures, and we like to feel

related to other people, Kowert says’.

Now let’s look at from a celebrity’s point of view. Many of them turn out to be

healthy role models, foster deeper connection with their fans, and improve the

celebrity’s mood when they know they are loved by so many people. But, some

fans make start harassing them, stalking, or even give them physical threats. In

Korea these stalker fans are known as ‘sasaengs’. Once there was an incident

when, one of these fans poisoned a member of the group TVXQ, by giving him

orange juice that had glue in it. These negative interactions can damage their

mental health and can lead to depression, anxiety and other mental health issues.

Let me be honest, I have my own celebrity crush, but not in an obsessive way. I

admire him as a person. His discipline, his mindset, his dedication to his craft, his

cooperation with his fellow group members, his humble and down to earth nature,

and most importantly his contagious positivity, motivate me to be better, to be

amazing like him, and whoever is reading this should do the same. These people

are not only singers, idols, actors, or role models, but real people, that can have

immense impact on us as people.

Parasocial relationships can be both positive and negative. We as fans need to

learn to be realistic and respect the boundaries of the celebrities we love and

admire. Do not let these crushes become obsessive, or lead to unrealistic

standards for people you know in real life when you cannot even reach them

yourself, since it will make you not only unlikeable, but also a hypocrite.